More words!

Sydney said two new words today:

purple and popcorn

She's also started saying "potty" the past couple days when she sees me peeing! Gotta love her!

On the move!

All she wants to do is walk! It's so much fun and oh the smiles we get. I never thought about how much joy my daughter would bring to complete strangers. It melts my heart that she can make someones day. She's just so darn adorable! Add a new walker wobble to that face and she's irresistible. The only thing is, it now takes us over 20 minutes just to walk to our car through the parking lot. Don't even think about picking her up. Unless you want to go deaf of course. But I don't mind. Slowing down for the things that matter in life is what makes life so wonderful. I guess our days of sitting down to eat for more than ten minutes are over though.

You know what else makes life wonderful? CUPCAKES!



Yup, we took Syd to The Cupcakery yesterday and she loved it!

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A few ladies nearby could not stop laughing at how much Syd was enjoying that icing. And also how neat she was eating! If you're wondering if she finished that cupcake, the answer is yes.

This is definitely a trip we will have to take more often. She certainly deserves it. She's such a good girl!

Big Girl Walking!

It's official. Sydney is walking!!!!!

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I was hiding out in the bedroom when Jason came in all excited.

"BABE! You missed it! She just walked over to me from the swing."

So I jumped out of bed to go see if she would walk again. Sure enough, she was suddenly a walker. I was speechless, and I could not stop smiling. I mean, she's been taking solo steps here and then, but suddenly walking around like it's no big deal? So cool! And the wobble is no joke. It's funny enough to cure any bad day.

My little girl is a toddler.

Being Polite

Sydney did a few things today that made me such a proud momma. We've been saying "bless you!" when she sneezes for quite some time now, and today, today she said it to US! Not once, not twice, but all three times we sneezed! (Apparently we sneeze a lot around here. Thanks, Beaker.) She also signed please for the first time today. Then, after eating her dinner I gave her a napkin and told her to wipe her face and she did it! The fact that she truly enjoys being so polite and proper is what makes me the most proud. She gets quite the smile on her face when she figures things out. There are even things she does that I never taught her. Like covering her mouth when she coughs for example, or crossing her ankles when she sits. I just love her so much!

Happy 15 Months!

Highlights:

Weight: Check back after her appt. June 2!
Height: Check back after her appt. June 2!
Tooth Count: 10 and more on their way very soon.
Vocabulary: 37 words! Mom, Daddy, Baby, Sydney, Dolly, Pop-Pop, hi, bye, cat, doggie, bunny, bear, fish, duck, baby, piggy, bubble, cookie, meow, ruff, roar, stinky, cheese, up, nap, sleep, more, this, thank you, hot, ball, nose, eyes, ear, belly, yes, no
Signs: milk, more, eat, all done, change me, sleep, stars (for puffs), thank you, hungry, and she does I love you without the pinky. Of course, waves hi and bye too.
On The Move: Crawling, Cruising, will take solo steps if not going far, will walk across whole condo if I hold my arms out and keep walking backwards for her to follow.
Personality: Silly! Laughs a lot.
Favorite of the Month: My favorite thing she does at the moment, is pull up my shirt to point to my belly button. She calls it "baby".

Mommy Moment

Today Sydney came crawling up to me, REAKING of poop, with a ton of brown stuff on her face and hands! Now this is her first poop in her new cloth diaper so I've been waiting, and wondering how this is all going to go. I think I froze for a minute. Then, without thinking, I wiped her face with my finger to smell it. It was OREOS! LOL!!! I've never felt more like a mommy until I took that chance of it actually being poop. I mean, it really could have been poop. She even had some on her butt from sitting on the cookie!

Oh and PS. She DID really poop too. And it did stay contained. Cloth diaper success!

Fluffy Butt

Tell me that isn't the cutest butt you've ever seen?

Today is officially Day 1 in Operation: Rash-Be-Gone. We had no leaks the past two nights using the flushable inserts in her little gPants, and hoping for the same results with the gcloth. Fingers crossed! I'm really liking the wipe solution I made yesterday with the flannel wipes. I am now anxiously awaiting her first poop. Stay tuned.

Mothers Day

I was supposed to sleep in this morning. But I was too excited. No reason really. I just wanted a big hug from my silly little girl. When she finally woke up, Sydney and Jason went to get me Starbucks. It was delivered to my bed, along with a card and chocolates. I really wasn't expecting those. It was very sweet. Jason helped Sydney write "Mommy" on the envelope and signed everyone's name-including Charley and Beaker. All my babies. I am one really blessed mommy.

I was brought breakfast in bed a while later and pretty much spent the morning just relaxing and watching tv from under my covers. Sydney popped in a couple times for a kiss and left just as quickly. When she went down for her nap, I got ready to go drive around a bit.

Where did I go?

To exchange Sydney's new cloth diapers! I bought a gdiaper starter kit yesterday on clearance when I finally had it about her ongoing rash issue. Well, I was jipped the snap in liners.

Jason gave me a few dollars for whatever I wanted for myself while I was out.

What did I buy?

Cloth diapering stuff for Sydney! They were out of the size I needed, so I had to do a return. I got a gPants 2 pack and a 6 pack of cloth inserts since the flushable inserts cost more than disposables.I ended up being able to keep the $5 giftcard I got yesterday, plus got an additional $5 coupon on the gPants package. Then I got another $5 giftcard for buying 2 gdiaper products! Super deal! So I spent my savings on some flannel wipes at another baby store and got to check out some other brands of cloth diaper options.

When I got back, I was pretty busy.

What did I do?

Prep the cloth inserts for Sydney's diapers! (aka 6 times washing and drying!) I also washed her two gPants and the small pack of cloth wipes I got today. Hey, if I'm going laundry anyway, I might as well save on wipes.

What did I do next?

Make my own wipes solution! I'm telling you. This rash problem of hers, it better take a permanent vacation within a week or I'm completely out of ideas. Eliminating all the chemicals, chlorine, plastic, latex, etc HAS to work, right? I'm really hoping it works, because switching over to cloth will save us so much money, especially with another baby coming. And you can't deny how adorable babies look in those soft little covers!

So I didn't spend my Mothers Day taking a break from my mommy duties. I didn't sleep in. I changed two diapers. I still put Syd down for her nap. I quietly bit my tongue over the potato chip appetizer Jason fed her for dinner. I even settled a short whiny spout Syd was having. Tomorrow morning, my sink will still be full of dirty dishes. The carpet still needs to be vacuumed. There are still dirty socks all over the place.

But this Mother's Day was even better than last years. Because that's what being a mom is all about. It's not about expensive dinners, a clean house, and spa days. It's messy. It's exhausting. It's financially draining. And you know what I get back? Smiles. Hugs. And if I'm lucky-big wet kisses.

Nothing gets better than that. Nothing!

Sunny Days

I woke up this morning silently cursing the sunlight that was peeping through my eye lids. I've been waiting for a day nice enough to go to the pool again and here I was thinking Go. Away. What was wrong with me? I glanced at the time. Not even 6:30. Considering Syd went to bed at 6pm last night, I'm not sure why I was surprised. I listened to her whining for Daddy as I pulled up the blanket and managed to mutter the word coffee before it ate my head.

A few minutes later, I rolled my growing belly out of bed and was happy to find a brewing pot on the counter. I guess he heard me. Syd took a break from her Mickey Mouse and pancakes long enough to smile and scream, "HIIIIII!" as I dragged my feet across the kitchen floor. Now THAT little ray of sunshine is sure to brighten my day. I smiled back at her, waving, and said good morning.

I decided to spend the morning carrying her around on my hip because it was comforting. Besides, she didn't seem to mind. What we did exactly is already a blur, but I know there were hugs, there were kisses, and there were lots and lots of giggles. But when I laid her down for her morning nap, I began feeling sad again.

Today was the day I was supposed to see my other baby. I was supposed to hear how perfect she's growing, and that all her organs are properly formed and functioning as they should be. I was supposed to hear that my low 2 pound weight gain is nothing to worry about and it will pick up now that I'm five months along. But I had to reschedule my appointment. Because my medicaid is still pending. I decided to call my doctor just to see what my options were next week if I still had not had an answer from Medicaid yet. They tell me they will not see me unless I pay the remaining balance of my prenatal care in full. I have not been there in five weeks. We've been allowed to pay in cash for the first two appointments, more than they were worth I'm sure. But we're all out. We have nothing else to give. Not that they'd accept it anyway. In the next sentence they tell me next week is the last week this scan will be accurate and it's very important I get it done. There's no way I can get in anywhere else this soon, one that will take someone without insurance, one with nothing to give. So I let out a good cry, decided to give up for the moment, enjoy my weekend, and worry about the next step after my medicaid meeting on Monday.

And then my sweetheart woke up.

We made lunch together, ate together, and then baked cupcakes together. Because cupcakes are delicious. And it must have been meant to be because there were exactly 3 eggs left.



And exactly 1/2 cup of vegetable oil left.



As I mixed that chocolaty goodness together, Sydney grew excited over the sound of the mixer.

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And then they were ready for the oven.



I didn't care about the cake mix that had spilled over the pan. I let it fall without wiping it off. Because sometimes, you just have to let it go. Nothing is perfect.



But it always comes out good.



Life is messy. But it is oh so yummy.





Thank you, Sydney, for teaching me so many things.

What Matters Most

Molars. I hate molars. They hurt my little girl. They make her whiny and uncomfortable, and confused. She doesn't know if she wants to eat, bite her fingers, be up my butt, or be left alone. She won't nap. I feel so bad for her.

BUT-

When she relaxes enough for a snuggle, she melts into the nook of my neck and we sigh together-with matching smiles on our faces. She looks up at me for just a moment and falls back against by chest, nuzzling in just a little deeper than before. And we just breathe.

Until all hell breaks loose again and she starts chasing around the cat. She plays peekaboo with me in between not knowing if she wants up or down. She demands to eat her goldfish and then smashes them into the carpet out of frustration. Her poor little gums swell up to where she hardly has to open her mouth for me to see.

Six o'clock came around tonight and she must have been so exhausted from teething that she didn't even want to eat dinner. Forget about bath time. So I gave her some Tylenol and carried her to her room, cradled in my arms like she was a newborn again. She silently stared up at me, body limp, Dolly barely hanging in her grasp. I softly sang to her as I changed her diaper and put her jammies on and she didn't even try to fight me. I was on round six of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star when I placed her in her crib, body still limp-she was finally relaxed. She smiled up at me as I finished the song, still stoking her hair. I blew her a kiss and told her I loved her, sweet dreams. Her sweet little lids closed and she was out for the night.

I love moments like these. Even when I've had a hard day, mentally and physically, all I have to do is hear one giggle, catch one smirk, or watch how peaceful she sleeps. And nothing else matters. These moments fill my eyes with tears. Happy tears.

Because I'm so lucky she chose me as her mommy.

Every Single Morning

Every single morning, Syd wakes up to throw her little guys, as Jason calls them, out of her crib. One by one they go, a three foot drop to their doom, where Syd then continues to babble at them. Two bears, a lamb-headed blanket, and *gasp* even Dolly, stare up to mock her before she's finally had enough and starts calling for Dad. "DAAAAD!" "DAAAADY!" "DAD!"

Every single morning, we both quietly listen to the babbles, hoping for just a few more minutes of slumber. But that never lasts long. So up Jason goes, throws her pancakes into the microwave, hit's the John, and enters her room as her night in shining armor. I hear Sydney's excited sequels as he returns her little guys to their rightful place inside the crib and then scoops her up-all 19 pounds of soggy, wet diaper. I hear her chatting away on the changing table as if telling him all the amazing dreams she's had that night, and maybe even about the mockery that went on those minutes before he came to her rescue.

And then they appear. "Good MORNING MOMMY!!!"

My smiling girl, in her daddy's arms, throws her arms out toward me and Jason brings her over for a quick hug and a kiss. And then they're gone. Into her jumper she goes while she shoves a stack of pancakes into her mouth, watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, waiting for Mommy to get her sleepy butt out of bed so Daddy can get ready for work.

Every single morning I get to wake up to and with a smile. I feel my heart grow just a little more each day. I fall in love with her over and over and over again. And she loves me back, unconditionally.

How lucky am I?

My Toddler

My toddler is still not walking! But she's standing longer and longer unassisted. She walks beside me holding one hand. She has even taken a couple steps on her own. Let's go girl! You're getting too big for Mommy to be carrying around and Charley doesn't like it when you sit on her!

Sydney is getting more beautiful by the day. If that's even possible. Her adorable personality is really helping with that! I just love her to pieces. She now has her toys in her room and I watch her independently play through the video monitor. She is enjoying her new freedom. We went in the pool Friday for the first time this year and Sydney had a blast! She kept trying to stick her face in the water and would get mad anytime I stopped helping her swim.

My most favorite of her curiosities at the moment, is when she lifts up my shirt to point to my belly button-which she calls "baby". It is the sweetest thing and I don't care if she doesn't "get it". She is bonding with her sister and it melts my heart.

We have a weight check coming up this week and I'm thinking she's going to "pass" finally. Fingers crossed! Hopefully it will be the last time we see the doc before her 15 month appointment, which is soon. Oh my! My baby is a toddler! How did that happen?!

First Step!

Sydney took her first solo step today! She was standing at the glass door, staring outside, and turned to look at me. She started saying hi as she let go of the glass and just stood there for a minute. Before I could realize what was happening, she took a step to her chair and placed her hand on the arm as casual as could be. It was only one step, but it was perfect and smooth, and she didn't fall into the chair. I'm so proud! This is so exciting!!

Now hopefully she let's me have more than three hours of sleep tonight. Her bottom two molars are peeping through and Sydney is in a lot of pain. Between cutting teeth and her recent transition to one 2 hour afternoon nap, I am beyond exhausted. I told Jason to go back to sleep last night because he had work today, and I spent four hours trying to soothe her crying. Tonight he might not be so lucky if it happens again! YAAAY FOR MILESTONES!

A Beautiful Day

I was so excited for Syd to see her Easter basket that I woke up at 6am! This was the very same basket I sat Syd in last year for Easter pictures. When she finally decided to open her beautiful eyes, it was pancake time! I don't even think I let her swallow the last bite when I scooped her out of the jumper and sat her next to her goodies. Jason predicted her not caring, and crawling off to go play with a sock. But he was wrong! She pulled out each item, smiling upon inspection. She found books, crayons, finger puppets, Little People, fruit snacks and animal crackers, cookie cutters and mix, a pinwheel, a tiny stuffed rabbit enclosed in an egg, and a chocolate bunny for Charley. She was in little toddler heaven.

Next I went to enjoy some coffee in bed while Jason kept an eye on Syd. Then it was time for our egg hunt! I dressed her in the cutest spring dress, grabbed a basket and her daddy, and off we went. We walked to a nearby field with the most pitiful display of grass I've ever seen. But it was perfect. I sprinkled her goldfish-filled eggs around and let her explore. The weather was perfect too-warm on your face with a breeze in your hair.

The rest of the day was pretty laid back. Jason never made it to the store for eggs so we didn't end up making the Easter cookies, but at least we have a nice treat for next week now! It was a beautiful Easter, spent with my two favorites. As the night comes to an end, a miniature baby foot kicks my bladder to remind me for the 104,895,379th time today, how lucky I really am.









And just to reminisce over last year's Easter:

Easter Fun

We took Syd to the Springs Preserve today for some Easter festivities. There was a two hour line for tickets for the egg hunt, so we decided to skip it. We did, however, wait to see the Easter bunny! Sydney was very happy to be sitting on his lap and smiled for her pictures. We took her to the petting pen and then for a stroll through the desert gardens. Sydney took us by surprise quite a few times today when she stood all by herself for long amounts of time. She wanted to walk like a big girl too, holding our hand. It's so exciting!

I also picked up Sydney's Easter basket stuff tonight and I can't wait for her to wake up tomorrow!

That's all for tonight. This pregnant mommy is VERY exhausted. Enjoy some pictures from today!

Daydreamin'

My poor little darling is cutting two molars. I can't say that it's been totally miserable though. For one thing, Sydney has turned into the sweetest little snugglebug. Even if a tiny tear lingers in her eye. She wraps her rolly-polly arms around my shoulders, and leans in with an open mouth as a dainty awwwww escapes with her breath. Dolly can't light a candle next to my comfort skills!

I attempted to put Sydney down for a nap today and it just wasn't happening. This is an extremely rare occurrence that only happens during times of discomfort. Of course I came to her rescue. I sat in the rocker, squeezing the last few sniffles out of her until her breathing returned to normal. I flipped her around and nestled her cute little heiny into the nook of my arm as I pulled out Where The Wild Things Are. She quietly listened to the tale of Max and his bad behavior, pointing out the monsters and helping turn the pages. About half way though the story, itty bitty Charley gave the most gentle kick inside my belly. I had a flash forward moment, a quick daydream about reading to my two girls, one in each arm. I paused the story to look down at Syd, and she just smiled at me.

I wonder if she knows. I wonder if she can sense what is coming. I wonder if she will be jealous or if she will welcome her sister with open arms and slobbery kisses. I wonder if she'll want to help soothe her sisters cries. I wonder if she'll willingly share her toys. I wonder if she'll smack her upside the head.

I can't wait to read to my two daughters. I can't wait for the tea parties and to play in the rain puddles. I can't wait to see them share a secret or gang up on me. I want nothing for them but to be the best of friends. To forever have a buddy. I always wanted a sister. I hope it's as special as I imagined for Sydney and Charley.

Pop-Pop

Mommy's Pop-Pop went to heaven last night, Sydney. He went to be with Mom-Mom, and to watch over all of us. I wanted to tell you about the time he held you. We had a family barbecue at Berkeley Island in NJ just so the whole family could meet you for the first time. You were almost six months old. Pop-Pop was very sick, but he made the long trip in from Delaware JUST to see us. He wanted to meet his great grand daughter. Because he was so weak, Mommy had to help hold you on his lap. But he was so happy. He adored you. He loved you instantly.



I just wanted you to know that, Sydney.

Change Me

Today I was reading my book, lounging on the couch as Sydney quietly played around the living room. She suddenly crawled over to me and began whining. I asked her what she wanted and she raced down the couch as if she wanted me to follow her. She reached the end, paused, and signed "change me". It was the first time she signed it without me signing first, so I signed it back and said, "Let's go change you!" She grabbed hold of my hand and we walked, side by side, to her room. Sure enough-she had a wet diaper. I'm so proud of her! This whole signing thing has saved us so much frustration. She is so happy when she can communicate without knowing the words. Now I can't wait for her to sign BEFORE she dirties the diaper....

A Great Day; A Rough Night

We had a very busy day yesterday! It was our Gender Reveal party and everyone found out Sydney is going to have a little SISTER! We are so very excited to be bringing another beautiful little girl into this world and are hoping they will be the best of friends.

Unfortunately, we FORGOT to grab Dolly when leaving. Oh. My. God. Never again. Syd fell asleep in the car on the way home, but when she woke up in her crib at 11:30, ALONE, she began screaming her poor little head off. It was heart wrenching. I felt so bad I actually cried. Sydney kept looking around the house as we paced the rooms trying to soothe her. She was calling her by name. It was horrible! The only thing that calmed down her breathing was leaching on to me while watching Mickey Mouse. So that is how we stayed-until 3 in the morning.

I'm a very tired mommy today.

Gender Party Sneak Peak

Sunday we are having a gender reveal party to announce the sex of Sydney's new sibling. Jason, Sydney and I will actually find out on Saturday and are going to enjoy the secret as a family till then. We are very excited! I've been super busy being crafty and thought I'd take a moment to give you a little sneak peak of what's coming.

Chocolate Milk

Due to Sydney's weight stalling out, we have been adding Carnation Breakfast Essentials to her milk. The only flavor available in the powder form was chocolate. Well. Isn't Sydney the luckiest 13 month old EVER?

Chocolate milk is one of the greatest joys of childhood. Can you remember? Can you picture just one of those times when you felt like you were getting away with something all because you were allowed to have some chocolate milk? Oh, sweet little heaven.

Sydney now downs her milk in what seems to be her own little chugging contest. The only thing in between that milk and her tiny little taste buds is that straw-and her lips are glued. Puckered up with suctioned cheeks, you can tell the moment it hits her tongue because her eyes light up. I hope I never forget her chocolate milk face. It makes me smile every time I see it.

Sydney's Lovey aka Dolly

A woman from my mommy forum wanted to conduct some unscientific research and created a poll regarding children and what is formally known as a "lovey", or transitional object. She was trying to see if loveys were more favored by children who never took a pacifier. The results were pretty interesting. Of the 36 people who voted, only six of them had children who used a paci daily.

Sydney never took pacifier and she has become quite attached to her Dolly. Dolly was a gift from my cousin, given for Syd at my baby shower. We go way back, Dolly and me. I thought she was the cutest little doll, who was easily transportable, so I began sitting her next to Syd since she was born. It's because of this that I wonder if I've been responsible for "pushing" it on her. But she LOVED her. She instantly had a preference for that squishy, pink, smiling face.

These days Dolly gets dragged around and thrown from the crib. She gets offered goldfish and pancakes. She is brutally forced into giving Beaker kisses. She even has almost had her fluffy guts hugged out of her. She's been on a plane and to the park, to the mountains and to the pool. She's never missed a car ride or a doctor's appointment. She's enjoyed a garden and accompanies us on our daily walks. She has dried many tiny tears. She lives a very full life, that Dolly.

We can always tell when Squid is ready for bed because she stops talking, crawls over to Dolly, and scoops her up for a snuggle on the floor-right then and there. It's like an instant mellow drug. Other times Dolly will be hidden away in the toy massacre that swallows our living room, so Syd will instead sign sleep while she says "nap". Once in a while, during times like these, Jason forgets to grab Dolly as he carries Syd off to bed. That is until he hears a little chant whispered in his ear.

Doll, Doll, Doll, Doll.

She is very loyal to her Dolly.

I haven't thought far enough into the future to decide when it would be appropriate to separate those two. I have, however, been thinking about purchasing a few impostures. Even after weekly baths Dolly still looks dirty. I like to think of it as loved. She looks very loved.


And I think it is the most adorable affection.

Sunshine and Sydney

Syd and I spent the afternoon outside-eating hot dogs, playing, and just enjoying the beautiful sunshine. I'm going to miss days like these. When it was just the two of us. When she had every ounce of my attention. When I could close my eyes for ten seconds to soak up the sun and not worry about her because she can't get very far. I'm going to fully enjoy our last six months as a twosome. I'm going to be selfish with her hugs and kisses. I'm going to take advantage of every day like today, even if I'm tired. Our whole world is going to change come September. It's not going to be just the two of us anymore. Sometimes I think "Oh crap! What did I do?". But I know it will be wonderful. Syd will have a best friend for life, and I will have two beautiful children to enrich the rest of mine.



So today we just played. I chased her down the driveway. She threw blocks anywhere she felt like. We shared a bowl of purple grapes. Then we decided to explore the street. As Syd practically ran down the sidewalk, all the while laughing at herself, I had to take a moment and just smile. She's so incredibly happy and loving life. We should all be so lucky.

Prologue

A month has passed and Sydney has grown. Well, not physically. Actually weight gain has been an issue since her one year check-up, but we're working on that. Mentally, she's turning into the toddler I've been waiting for. She's a genius. Really. Ok, so it may be too soon to officially give her that title, but she's got a 21 word vocabulary! That's not a typo. 20! Wanna see the list? I thought so:

Mom, Dad, Dolly, Pop-Pop, hi, bye, cat, bear, fish, duck, baby, bubble, meow, ruff, stinky (my personal favorite), up, nap, more, this, thank you, hot

No, they are not ALL crystal clear, but the majority of them are. She also is signing six words (sleep, milk, more, eat, all done, and I Love You). We're working on bath, book, and change me. She just seems to "get it". She's been practicing her shape sorter and is getting the idea. She enjoys helping mommy clean up the toys when I sing our clean up song. She's still my funny girl with a very social personality. Sydney is walking with a one-handed assist. Any day now she's going to let go and take off! She still only has the same 8 teeth since Christmas.

I'm excited to see what her second year will bring. I'm excited to know if she's going to have a little brother or a little sister. I'm even more excited to see her BE a big sister. I'm beyond happy to still be at home with her, day after day. I'm not missing a thing. Not a milestone, not a smile. And she loves me the most. Well, it's a close tie with her daddy, but I know I've got a special place in her heart-as she does in mine.